dreaming big

Me and Desmond were at home watching the NDP on TV when there was a segment on some kids' aspirations when they grow up.

Desmond: *sniggers

Thomas: Huh, what's so funny?

Desmond: Imagine their parents' reactions to their kids' replies.

Thomas: Hmmm...

AWOL @ work part 3

That's what friends are for.

this is wai kit part 12

(Mahjong session over at Weijian's place.)

Jeng Wee: So are we planning something for Heng's bachelor holiday?

Andy: I thought you're planning one for him?

Thomas: Walau, I just came back from Australia man.

Jeng Wee: Have we decided on the country?

Thomas: Hmmm, it really have to depend on how many days of leave we all can actually take - the last time I heard he was quite interested to go back Taiwan again.

Andy: You dog, there's not much time left.

Thomas: The wedding is not gonna be anytime soon lah, but yeah I agree it's quite 急.

Waikit: Accounting.

Andy, Jeng Wee, Thomas: Huh?

Waikit: Quite 急... 会计...

 

Reactions from the rest

AWOL @ work part 2

(In office.)

Thomas: Hey Aaron, I still owe you a hundred.

Thomas: What's your bank account number I'll wired it over.

Aaron: Oh, I can't remember - why don't you just pass me cash?

Thomas: I don't have enough on me now man.

Sunil: Hey wait a minute, he owes me thirty-four bucks.

Aaron: Did I? I don't think so.

Sunil: Why don't you pass me thirty-four and then pass Aaron sixty-six.

Thomas: Aaron, do you owe Sunil money?

Aaron: Nope.

Thomas: Erm, I think I'll pass him the hundred and then he will settle that thirty-four with you.

Sunil: You don't trust me?

Thomas: No lah, it's just that I wanna keep things simple - Aaron I'll pass you the money later.

Aaron: Ok.

Thomas: ...

Thomas: Sunil, you have money to lend?

Sunil: Yea-

Thomas: I'll borrow from you to pay Aaron now.

Sunil: You bastard.

qotw

(Having a barbecue session with the HDD with new friends from Vietnam.)

Weiheng: So what are your thoughts on long distance relationships?

Weiheng: I mean, since you're here in Singapore you can consider the local guys here.

Friend: Well, but then it's gonna be really difficult where you can't meet up...

Thomas: Ah.

Friend: Hold hands...

M***: (muttering) Who cares about about holding hands...

Thomas: AHEM.

AWOL @ work

Kelvan: Eh, how come I can't auto-fill your email address when I type in your name?

Thomas: Should be able to - try "Thomas Li" or "Diwei Thomas"?

Sunil: You just type in "Thomas Li", then press DELETE and then F9.

(Kelvan fiddles with Lotus Notes for a while, before successfully finding the email.)

Kelvan: Oh, just type in the name and then press SPACE and then F9.

Sunil: Isn't that what I just say? It's the same thing when you press SPACE or DELETE.

Kelvan: But DELETE is more awkward - SPACE is more natural for the finger.

Kelvan: And its nearer to the F9 button.

Sunil: Oh is it? (Proceeds to take out a ruler and starts to compare the Euclidean distance between the F9 and the two oppositional buttons.)

Sunil: 6cm... 8cm...

Sunil: F9 and DELETE is nearer.

Kelvan: ...

sun's art of war

This was supposed to be a post about some of the amusing observations that occurred while running last Sunday's Army Half Marathon (please put more belly dancers next time), but I have to say the (wo)man of the moment belongs to a friend's girlfriend - both of them were holidaying in Taiwan when they visited Chiang Kai-shek Memorial Hall.

(Looking at one of the historical photographs found in the halls the mounument.)

Weiheng: Hey, that's Chiang Kai-shek and Sun Yat-sen.

Cindy: Oh...

Cindy: Isn't he the one who wrote The Art of War (孫子兵法)?

a synonymous discussion

Me and the guys were gossiping about a particular individual over coffee.

Weijian: Actually she doesn't really have a good impression of him.

Thomas: Like?

Weijian: Like he's quite a good-for-nothing.

Thomas: That's too venomous a phrase man - after all he is a friend.

Weijian: Hmmm... how about 'good-at-nothing'?

Thomas: Well... the wording is slightly better but still its quite strong.

Weijian: ...

Weijian: He is bad-at-everything.

singapore slut for sale

Before I leave for China tomorrow here's something I came across on failblog.org:

I'm will be back sometime mid June - will blog whenever I have internet access. Seeya!

AWOL part 41

You know the feeling when you come across something so gargantuanly ridiculous that your usual criteria for judgement ceases to be applicable? You feel confused yet contented at the same time, counting yourself blessed for experiencing it firsthand cause no amount of audio-depiction to your friends is gonna capture that moment fully?

After watching the trailer of Big Man Japan (Dai-Nipponjin), this has the potential to be ranked alongside The Story of Ricky, Weng Weng and Kung Pow in my list of films which gives me that same exact feeling.

Check out the trailer here.

two heads are better than one

My brother was telling me this amazing story when he was participating in his camp's parade to welcome a particular high-ranking officer from somewhere else.

(The Brigadier General is standing on the podium and addressing a speech to the parade.)

Brigadier General: As the Chinese saying goes, 三个臭皮匠顶个诸葛亮.

BG: In English it means that three average Joes is equivalent to...

BG: One Zhuge Liang.

Desmond: ...

Desmond, whispering to a Malay mate: You have any idea who's Zhuge Liang?

Malay mate: Who the hell is he?

BG: Or put it in another way...

BG: Three Changkat Changi equals to one Raffles Institution.

Desmond: What. The. Fuck.

edmund chen in street fighter

I was pretty excited when I heard that there's gonna be a Street Fighter movie about Chun Li (starring Kristin Kreuk) next year, (very originally) titled Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li. So I went to the official production blog and went over the list of cast, which I saw...

Damnnnnn.

I know Edmund Chen's has been getting roles in films outside of Singapore before (The Eye, Turn Left, Turn Right) but this is just wayyy too cool. Imagine your children playing Street Fighter IV and you tell them: "Son, I was in a Street Fighter movie..."

As for the film itself, I think as long it is better than the DOA movie it will be good enough in my books.

this is wai kit part 9

Me and some of the HDD guys were having dinner after our soccer session last Sunday.

(The coffeeshop's television shows a commercial with Daniel Wu endorsing a Loreal product.)

Thomas: Actually I didn't really like Daniel Wu initally, but after I watched some of his recent films I must say he is quite a good actor.

Wai Kit: He is not bad, along the likes of Takeshi Kaneshiro who have both looks and acting ability.

Thomas: Not really - Daniel Wu is more of a 'macho' good-looking kind.

Wai Kit: In either sense he is better than that jackass, Edison Chen.

Thomas: Haha yeah - did you see his 2 second scene in The Dark Knight?

Weijian: Speaking of that show did you know that the main chinese villian in it used to act in the first local English show?

Thomas: Huh? You mean the accountant? I didn't know that.

Wai Kit: I know - he acted in...

Wai Kit: Masters of the Universe.

(Moment of silence as Thomas and Weijian struggles to find out what's wrong this time.)

Thomas: IT'S MASTERS OF THE SEAS LAH!!!

blantant redefined

My Knowledge Governance class had an invited speaker from the Intellectual Property Office of Singapore (IPOS) to come down to give us an brief presentation on the topic of (surprise!) intellectual property rights yesterday.

Professor: Anymore questions? If not let us give a round of applause to our invited guests.

(Class applauses. The professor signals a break, then proceeds to have a small discussion with the speakers in front of the seminar room.)

Classmate sitting 3 seats away from Thomas (the same person from here) : HEY THOMAS! I'VE DOWNLOADED IRON MAN LAST NIGHT!

Thomas: .

tropic thunder easter egg #1

The ingredient in Kirk Lazarus' (Robert Downey Jr's character) pigmentation alteration surgery is...

WTFFFFFFFFFF?!?!?

Absolutely brilliant in a WTF kinda way (although I have no idea how the Western audience is going to catch this joke.)

Go watch Tropic Thunder when it comes to town - seeing Downey Jr. in blackface and Tom Cruise's cameo alone is worth the price of admission.

speaking good english part 2

Today was the first day of work for me and my FYP teammates over at our client's office. We were introduced to the head honcho (who is a lady) of the department where we are developing our project for.

Head Honcho: Hmm, so how come you guys didn't have female members in your team?

HH: Are there lack of girls in your course?

Vice Head Honcho: Yeah, I was telling them it was a bad move on hindsight - when you have a girl some things get done faster.

FYP Team: ...

Teammate #1: Oh, we do have girls in our course but they usually form all-girl teams.

HH: Oh, I thought this only happens back in secondary school.

Teammate #1: Yeah, they tend to stick together closely, so its a bit hard to...

Teammate #1: Penetrate them.

( Akward silence envelopes the room for five long seconds.)

i'm so going to swensen's

I was watching TV when I came across the latest series of Swensen's commercials.

!?!?

It's been a while (Kushin Bowl's commerical song a few years back comes to mind) since a local commercial left me in a huge "WTF?" moment. But that's what commercials are heading right now - using absurd (and sometimes controversial) humor with bits of Dadaism to capture the attention of viewers admist the sea of generic advertisments.

Check out the others here below - some are boring, other are kinda controversial:

Creative Dad
Hardworking Boy
Steady Mum
Smart Kid
DIY Expert

middle road

Some of my university seniors started their first day of job at my department.

(Lunchtime outside the gents.)

Kelvan: Want to join us for lunch?

Karen, one of the seniors: Where you guys eating?

Kelvan: Middle Road.

Karen: Erm, where is it?

Karen: Lord of the Rings?

Thomas: ...

legend of tioman

Thomas: Anyway the HDD is going to Tioman in July.

Thomas: There's definitely gonna be a trip but the destination tentatively is Tioman.

Lixian: Waaaahhhh...

Lixian: I also want man.

Lixian: I think the island is named after a super hero - last time, that island got this uncle....dunno why so lucky.

Lixian: Whatever he gamble he wins. 4D and Toto always tio*...

Lixian: Thats why he is called Tioman.

Thomas: Thats too max man...

Thomas: Fuck, you sure you're not kidding me?

Lixian: Of course it's wrong lah.

Lixian: You suck man.

Lixian: Hahahahahahahaha.

Thomas: Fuck you.

*Hokkien for strike

this is wai kit part 6

Wai Kit and I were at Weijian's place watching To End All Wars, a war film about a group of POWs held in a Japanese POW labour camp, building the Burma Railway during the last three and a half years of World War II.

Thomas: This show is not bad man - haha there's even Begby* in it.

Wai Kit: Hey, have you watched Band of Brothers before?

Thomas: Sadly, no.

Wai Kit: Damn! I'm telling you that's one of the best war shows I've seen.

Weijian: Yeah it was superb.

Wai Kit: There's another war film about POWs thats also quite good... it starred Bruce Willis... it's...

Thomas: Is it the one that also starred Colin Farrell?

Thomas, pondering: Hart's War?



Wai Kit: Joe Hart.



(After finish watching the show we started to browse YouTube for old school WWE wrestling clips.)

Thomas: Nowadays WWE has gone stale.

Weijian: Even TNA is more entertaining.

Thomas: The problem lies with the current crop of wrestlers - although they have better movesets and are in better shape they lacked the charisma and most importantly, mike skills.

Thomas: Like Rock... Randy Savage...

Wai Kit: I like Chris Jericho and Steve McMahon.


Thomas: Erm, you mean Vince McMahon.



(The next day, after having dinner at Tampines, the B Squad were discussing about soccer transfer rumors.)

Weijian: Hey, David Villa is one of the rumored transfer targets of Arsenal.

Thomas: Heh, maybe he will end up at Liverpool since there is Rafa Benitez and his "Spanish Revolution". A striking partnership of Torres and Villa would be devastating.

Wai Kit: Arsenal also have Spanish players what. Like Manuel Almunia.

Wai Kit: There was also the Spaniard that left for Atletico Madrid... Reyes.



Thomas, Weijian and Kuah, pondering: Yup, Jose Antonio Reyes.

Wai Kit: Efren Reyes.

With HDD favourite Francisco Bustamante

*Robert Carlyle's character in Trainspotting.